3 Ways to Use Your Debt
As a
Pathway to Freedom
|
How much unsecured debt are you dealing with?
$5,000? $10,000? Or, perhaps like some of my clients you owe $50,000 or
more.
Credit card debt, student loans, and personal
loans can be an emotional drain. Debt brings up many feelings including shame,
frustration, hopelessness, powerlessness, trapped, and other discomforts. Very
few people feel neutral or happy about their debt.
If you are in debt, there is a good chance
that you have a debting habit. When was the last time you were totally out of
debt and, if you had such a time, how long did it last? If you have been in debt
for most of your adult life, you have a debting habit. If you think that the
answer to your problems is borrowing more money, then you definitely have a
debting habit.
Here's the good news: It IS possible to
turn your debt into a positive force in your life. If you are willing to face
your debt and the reasons why you debt and if you are willing to make some
changes in the way you deal with your money, then your debt can be your pathway
to emotional and financial freedom.
How can you do this? Here are some
suggestions:
1. Face your debt
Financial Vagueness Syndrome is a serious
dis-ease. You can't deal with your debt or improve your relationship with money
unless you are willing to look at your numbers.
I was working with someone who I'll call Tracy
who had a strong desire to get out of debt. I suggested to Tracy that she make a
list of all of her debts. Just the thought of doing this overwhelmed Tracy. The
shame she felt about her debts was almost too much to bear.
Tracy persevered and, after about two weeks,
brought me a list of her debts. They came to almost $10,000, which seemed
insurmountable given what Tracy was earning. However, one good look at the debt
showed us what Tracy was expressing through her debt. Almost everything Tracy
owed was to health care practitioners. I pointed out to Tracy that debt is often
a way of staying connected (If I owe/lend you money you aren't gong to forget
about me).
Tracy's mother had died when Tracy was quite
young and she had never fully dealt with her grief. Tracy's debt was a way for
her to deal with her feelings of being alone and disconnected. The health care
practitioners represented nurturing, caring people, i.e. the mother that Tracy
had lost.
By looking at her debt, Tracy came to
understand the deep feelings that were not only affecting her finances, but
other areas of her life as well. We did some deep grief release work and
addressed Tracy's feelings of shame and aloneness.
As a result, within a few weeks, new earning
opportunities appeared for Tracy. She was also able to make payment
arrangements--and in some cases a reduction of the amount owed--with the
practitioners. Tracy felt empowered, her shame began to dissipate, and she felt
more in control of her life.
You can experience this kind of shift by
making a list of all of your debts. List each company, credit card or person to
whom you owe money. Write down the amount you owe and the percent of interest
you are paying. Also include what the dollar amount of interest you are paying
each month.
As you are doing this, uncomfortable feelings
are bound to come up. Sit with the feelings and see if you can define them. If
necessary, use the Feeling List that you will find in our Be Set Free Fast (BSFF) download. You will find it under free resources on the website. If you have learned BSFF or EFT, treat the feelings. Each
treatment will lead to memories and additional feelings that you can
treat.
See if you can recognize any patterns to your
debting. For example, if you owe money to individuals, what do they represent?
When they gave you money, did it make you feel more loved and connected?
2. Keep track of your money.
This is just an extension of facing your debt;
it is about getting past any kind of financial vagueness. You can't know how to
apportion your money unless you know exactly how much is coming in and going
out.
Write down everything you spend and earn for
four weeks. At the end of that time, add up the numbers in each category of
spending, such as rent, food, clothing, etc. This is especially important if you
often wonder where your money has gone.
Like facing your debt, this is bound to bring
up feelings, and possibly some resistance. Facing these feelings will free you
to get beyond your destructive behaviors.
The Build Your Money Muscles Program has tools
for keeping track of your money and for dealing with the feelings that come up
as you do this.
3. Be willing to change your spending
habits
This is a tough one. Modern culture encourages
overspending. Consumers have developed a sense that they are entitled to own
what television commercials and other forms of advertising lure them to
buy.
People have come to believe that their worth
is reflected in the things they own. They also believe that somehow their lives
will be better and have more meaning if they own more. Consume, consume, consume
is the mantra of the corporations that are taking over our lives.
Spending within your means is one of the
major pathways to freedom. Here's why:
A. By carefully choosing what you buy, you
have the opportunity to know yourself and your personal values on a whole new
level. You have to ask yourself what is important to you and look at the reasons
why various things are important. Are you looking for validation from your
things?
B. Resisting advertising allows you to take
back some of your personal power. Right now, if you are in debt because you just
had to have more things, you have given your power away to the companies that
have lured you into debt. You can't be free if you give your power away. Take it
back by saying, "No."
C. If you want more, rather than getting into
debt, you can figure out ways of making more money. Be resourceful. By opening
yourself to earning opportunities, rather than debting, you will be surprised as
to what can show up.
D. Spending within your means can help you
look at the limits you have set for yourself. Are you programmed to believe that
you only deserve to earn X number of dollars a year? Is it disloyal to your
family or will you lose your position in your peer group by being financially
secure and comfortable? If you believe, as I do, that we create our reality with
our thoughts, beliefs and emotions, what are you using to create the reality you
are in.
Start Today!
I know the above is probably not the quick and
easy answer you are looking for. If you are in debt, it probably hurts. But, if
you don't address your debting issues now, your situation is not going to get
any better. It will get worse over time.
If necessary, find a Debtors Anonymous meeting
in your area or online. Or, do some research and find a reputable credit
counseling service. (You will have to be diligent with your research. Not all
companies are reputable.) Your bank may be able to recommend a good
service.
This article is obviously just a brief
introduction to this topic. But it offers a place to start. If you aren't
willing to follow these essential steps, then you might want to examine your
resistance. Look at your feelings of deprivation, fear, dread, or whatever else
comes up.
Remember, it's never about money, it is always
about something else--usually relationships.
Debting and prosperity are opposites. You
can't have both. Which are you going to choose?
Click here to start building your money muscles today!
